Well payday or bill paying put a hiccup in my time to write
and getting online. Here is my latest writing project. It is a work of fiction,
a murder mystery if you will. This is
the first draft of the first chapter. Your comments will be of great help in
getting this novel moving to the finish line.
Please note this is the rough draft and subject to rewrite.
Jane Doe
Chapter 1
It was a warm, quite evening at Baker Meadows reservoir. The
moon was full and bathy the lake and surrounding in its slivery glow. A group
of collage coeds were partying around a camp fire on the south shore. Tom the
oldest was telling a ghastly tale of murder, claming this was the very spot
where it all took place, just as he was positioning himself behind Jill, who
was set to be scared out of her wits. A screamed cry for help “Help me he is
going to kill me”, bust the moment into a terror, three shots rang the night, a
bullet wiz passed Jenny’s head hitting the fire causing it to flare; then they
saw the nude body of a young woman fall at the edge of the light of the camp
fire, her screams sending the group of six into a panicked fear for their
lives. A moment of dismay passed as Tom ran over to the girl’s body and started
to take control of the mounting surreal circumstances, giving orders like a
drill sergeant “Bob get the first aide kit and a sleeping bag out of the truck”,
“Jill call 911.”
Jill quickly dialed 911. Her cell phone was never out of her
hand it was if it was part of her, she texted a lot.
A voice burst from the phone “911 what is your
emergence?”
Jill screaming at
the phone “someone is shooting at us, a girl has been shot.”
The voice on the phone calmly asked “What is
your location?”
Jill replied “we are at the lake a half mile from the boat ramp, please hurry”,
“The police and fire are on the way do not hang up stay on the line till the
police get there, Do you know who is shooting at you?”
“No” Jill still screaming.
“What is the name of the person who was shot?”
“I don’t know we have never seen her before.”
Jill was starting to calm down as she joins Tom at the girls
side. She knelt with Tom looking her
over finding the girl had been shot in the back just below the left shoulder
blade and there was a wound on the left side of her head.
Jill reports “she has been shot in
the back and the left side of the head, she is still breathing but uncurious.
There is a lot of blood.”
“Do you have anything to put on the
wound? You will need to put pressure on it to stop the bleeding.”
“We have a first aide kit”
“How old is the victim?”
“She is in her twenties. I guess, I
don’t know.”
“Is the person still shooting?
“No, we think he left, we heard a
car speed off”
“The girl is necked.”
“You will need to cover her with a
blanket.”
“I can hear the sirens coming I see
the red light”
“Stay on the line till the police
talk to you. Help is on the way.”
We need to stop the bleeding and cover her up to prevent
shock. Tom felt embarrass to be handling the nude body of the girl, she was a
pretty brunette about five foot four, she looked like she could grace the pages
of playboy. He was unsure of just what to do for her. Jill on the other hand
was a third year nursing student but this was her first hands on
experience.
Jimmy ran to the truck a got out a deer rifle and promptly
jacked a round into the chamber. With a flashlight in hand he scanned the night
looking for the person who shot at them. He spotted the shadowy figure of a man
running to a vehicle and then hearing the door slam shut and the vehicle
speeding away. He tried to get off a
shot but he had not taken off the safety.
Boulder county sheriff Deputy Evans seeing Jimmy standing in
the road with the rifle came to a sliding stop open his door and aimed his
pistol at Jimmy. “Put the weapon on the
ground and back away.” braked from the PA system of Evans patrol car. Jimmy just stood there like a deer in the head
lights. The deputy repeated his demands for jimmy to put down the weapon.
Thank you for stopping by and god bless
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