Lot Ant.

Lot Ant.

One thing that we have not yet replaced after the big wind was our TV antenna; I have no idea where the old one is maybe some where out there in California I guessed. With our satellite dish there is little need for an antenna, however there are some local programs that I would like to get that are not offered by the satellite provider. So I went down to the local hardware store to get a good old fashion TV antenna.  The store is one of them big box stores. I went in and a young man, I would say he was in his early twenties, ask if he could help me find something. I told I was looking for a TV antenna. He said that they had some in the electrical section in the back of the store and he would take me there.

Well we went on the march down one isle then over 5 or 6 then down another, backtrack a bit and then down another. At this time I was beginning to think I should have brought a lunch and a compass or maybe a GPS. Was this guy a New York City cab driver or what? Now I have followed and old Indian scout trough the hills after deer but the scout knew where we were going. Well we finally got to the electrical section. Then he started in with the sales pitch; he pulled out a long box and said that this was the best TV antenna on the market. It was on sale for $299.95 plus tax and was the best “HD digital color TV antenna”. Then he went on to tell me that all the TV stations are now digital and you needed this special antenna to receive digital signals and this one would let me get color and in high definition.  He pointed to the label on the box to back up his clam.

This fellers gee jawing would put an Arkansas mule Skinner to shame.  Whoa Nellie! Hold the phone Mabel! This carpet baggier is so full of it, that a honey dipper would set for life. 

  I did not know whether to break out in laughter rolling in the isles or sit down and cry. The fact of the matter is that I put up my first home built TV antenna in about 1956.  I have designed and build many antennas over the years. As a matter of fact I put up a number of antennas for my ham radio, so many the place look like an antenna farm. An antenna is design to pick up RF (radio frequency) signals, it is only a conductor cut a desired frequency length most commonly quarter wave length. I don’t want to get to technical here. An antenna as important as it is, it is passive, it could not determine what type of signal it receives and it receives all. It is a lot like a fish net, it lets the real big ones go and the ones that are too small. I know more about antennas than Marconi did, as we have learned a lot since he built the first one.

Well after I pulled myself to gather, I educated the young man to the fact that he could drop the “HD digital color” and simply call it a TV antenna.  A rose by any other name is still a rose. Then I bought a nice Yagi TV antenna for $37.95 plus tax.

PS: a Yagi is the TV antenna design most commonly in use today.

Just a little explanation may be need here.  I used some old expressions in this post that some may not understand so here is some help.

“This fellers gee jawing would put an Arkansas mule Skinner to shame.  Whoa Nellie! Hold the phone Mabel! This carpet baggier is so full of it, that a honey dipper would set for life.” 

Gee jawing is: the seemingly meaningless chatter a mule skinner or driver use to drive his or her team. Example “GEE, you dam not heads” mean to go left or right I don’t remember. Making some noise behind mules will keep them moving, most of the time. Kind of like dogs barking at your heels.  Whoa + name of mule Means stop.

Hold the phone Mabel: Comes from the WWII men call home before going over seas. Mabel is a slang contraction ma bell (the phone company).

Carpet Baggers: were and still are people who after the civil war went around the country seeking to make it big off of the misfortunes of other. A lot were swindlers with get rich quick ideas.

Honey dippers: the feller who clean out the out house. 

Thank you for stopping by and God Bless